On 12 September 2026, a surprise passenger appeared on a ScotRail train from Gourock to Glasgow Central — a bat.
Without a ticket.
Without a reservation.
And, apparently, without the slightest desire to explain at which station it intended to get off.
At first the passengers simply watched as the new fellow traveller raced overhead, and then a railway employee got involved.
And this is where the story becomes especially Scottish. In the most Scottish way possible, the ticket inspector tried to eject the stowaway —
by waving a Scottish flag with the Cross of St Andrew.
That is, somewhere there existed a perfectly normal plan of action.
But in the end the plan that won out was:
"Let's wave national symbols and hope for the best."
One can imagine the scene itself:
— Ticket, please.
The bat:
wheek-wheek-wheek
— I see. Then we move on to the flag.
But the flag did not resolve the situation either. Then the inspector waved his hat towards the open doors. The bat took the hint and flew out to freedom on its own. The driver even congratulated everyone over the loudspeaker.
A very British (and especially Scottish) solution to the problem: no panic, with a flag, a hat and a sense of humour.
No traps.
No chase through the carriage.
Simply:
the train arrived, the doors opened, and the fare-dodger got off.
A very British story.
The main thing is to stay calm, not raise your voice, and, if necessary, use a flag, a hat and collective politeness.
And yes, somewhere at that moment the ticket inspector must have thought:
"Well, at least I didn't have to write out a fine." 😄
