Harvard professor and happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks shares insights on achieving a lasting and fulfilling marriage. He emphasizes cultivating "companionate love" over "passionate love." This approach focuses on building a deep friendship with a partner, strengthening over time.
Brooks highlights that companionate love is characterized by loyalty and mutual support, avoiding internal competition. He states that a strong relationship should prioritize unconditional backing: "No matter how much you screw up with the rest of the world, your partner will keep defending you."
He also stresses the importance of physical touch and visual connection in relationships. Simple gestures like a caress, kiss, hug, or handshake can have a profound impact. These actions promote the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone." This chemical strengthens emotional bonds, reduces stress and anxiety, and increases feelings of well-being and security.
Brooks also addresses the significance of selfless friendships, which he calls "useless friends." These authentic and disinterested relationships are essential for our happiness, providing support and connection without expecting personal gain.
In summary, to achieve a happy and lasting marriage, Brooks suggests focusing on building a solid friendship with your partner, maintaining open and honest communication, and valuing the small, everyday actions that strengthen the emotional bond.